had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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