is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
All the doctor said was why
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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