That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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