I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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