we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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