singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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