Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
