He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
