Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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