if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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