I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Of course I have a pirate flag
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
