is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
