life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I need water and some morals
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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