I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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