He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
At least life still wants to fuck me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
