oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
