you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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