Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
