worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
