Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
