she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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