I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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