He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
