You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So much rum. So many feels.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
