dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Randomize
