I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
