you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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