are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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