So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
