fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Randomize
