i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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