I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
