you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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