I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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