he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
