I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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