he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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