Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
