tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
