We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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