Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
