I love black thongs
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize