i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
