why didn't you poke me back
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize