We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
