That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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