a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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