Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
the raccoons are back...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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