"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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