the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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