I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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