he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
