so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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