Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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