Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
