No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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