Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
no you cant smoke seaweed
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
