kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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