Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
