it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
