wrigley field is MILF paradise
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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