Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
