You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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